Behind the Masks

"Behind every mask lies a heart true and brave, navigating life's challenges with grace and authenticity."

Sometimes, I find myself yearning for a magical mask that could seamlessly adapt to my surroundings. It's not about pretense or deception; rather, it's born from the struggle of fitting into a world where my earnest demeanor is often misunderstood as aloofness or severity. In truth, my countenance naturally tends towards seriousness.

There are days when I am overwhelmed by a profound sense of melancholy, yet I must summon the courage to wear a brave smile. Even in moments of utter exhaustion from my endeavors, I must keep my eyes wide and appear indefatigable.

I long to express my genuine emotions freely, but I wrestle with the question: is it acceptable to lay bare every sentiment—be it happiness, anger, sorrow, or elation—without filter? Consider a lawyer who has just lost a pivotal case; despite the tumult within, they must shield their emotions for the next trial. Or a compassionate doctor who has just comforted a grieving family; despite an urge to weep, composure must be maintained during the next surgical procedure.

In the world of a child, emotions flow unbridled. Their faces are mirrors of their hearts—tears for sorrow, laughter for joy. Yet, the masks worn by adults are far more intricate. Have we forgotten the innocent smiles, the genuine affection, and the unspoiled dreams that once lay behind these masks?

No longer a child, I wear my mask not to conceal my true self, but as a shield for emotions and burdens that need not be laid bare to the world. Each of us carries our own anxieties and tribulations.

Whether I choose to don my mask or lay it aside, the essence of who I am remains unchanged in my heart.

As Daniel Goleman expounds in his treatise on "Emotional Intelligence," there exist myriad forms of intellect, and those possessing a high quotient of emotional intelligence are adept at navigating the complexities of feeling. Perhaps, then, there exists a mask dubbed "fortitude" alongside another termed "hypocrisy," with a crucial distinction: one fortifies the self for personal growth, while the other masks the truth for self-serving gain.

In my moments veiled behind a mask, I ponder: am I still myself?

 

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有时候，我希望我有一个百变的面具，会随着四周而改变。我不是要变得虚伪，只是自己有时候，不太懂得善变，所以让别人觉得我不通情达理，或是不苟言笑。其实，我是表情木衲而已。

也有时，我心里真的很难受，但却得顾及大体，强颜欢笑。有时候，我工作地精疲力竭，也要瞪大眼睛，一副精神奕奕的模样。

其实有时候，也想很真实地抒发心里的感觉，但要是喜怒哀乐，没有经过过滤，完完全全地写在脸上行吗？好比输了上一场官史的律师，即使有多懊恼，也不能显露在下一场官史。好比刚安慰了死者家属的医生，即使有多想哭，也不能在下一个手术时落泪。

小孩的世界里，没有大人所谓的面具，脸上的表情，就是真实的感受。想哭就哭，想笑就笑。大人的面具，复杂很多。但是不是忘记了在这些面具之后，大家曾经无邪的微笑，真诚的爱与单纯的希望。

可是，我已不是小孩，我戴上面具，不是刻意掩饰自已，只是觉得有一些心情，有一些烦恼，不必公诸于世。因为有烦恼的人，不会是只有自己。

无论是卸下面具，还是戴上面具，心里想的，愿的，

都是最真的。就如Daniel Goleman写的书《情商》（Emotional Intelligence），智商有很多种，往往情商高的人能善于处理情感。所以也许有一种面具，叫作坚强。有一种，却叫作虚伪。两者之差，就在于一种为了更好的自我，变得坚强；另一种是为了谋得更好的利益，变得虚伪。

自己，戴上了面具，还是不是自己？